people said i change for the better, because my attitude was really sucky last time.

i feel so empty nowadays
..anyway i had fun with Aya and Reika today!! thanks both of you! >w<

so yep.. it was very sad to hear from people that they don't really like you in the past
but now that i have changed, which i don't really think i had, they are kinda more okay with me now.
but since that was like 2 years ago, i probably should forget about it
but thinking back 2 years ago, i probably didn't know tthat they didn't really like me, and i just talk to them as if nothing hahaha, so yep, i guess it's really quite awkward

but oh well, i should forget about it and move on with my life 8'D

but anyway, i couldn't really keep promises nowadays
i am busy with alot of stuff. i can't even keep promises to myself...
shoots with people that i promised, but i couldn't really make time out for it.
i am actually feeling quite apologetic to my friends that i disappoint.

..

and my english really do suck a lot i think ..//lol//

thinking of it, i've been meeting aya like almost everyday to study
i am really grateful to you and jiayan for making time out to teach me math and to study with me!
actually, i really can't study on my own, or even at home.
and really, sometimes i wonder if i am a hindrance, but i didn't dare ask. LOL
so i hope not... hope you'll not think that way because i will probably feel very..
very..........
..........

just very sad i think . < my lack of knowledge in vocabulary. i can't think of the right word to describe my feelings, oh god. LOL

oh anyway, thanks reika and aya for such an awesome day! >w<
i had fun!!!!
thank you guys!! >w<

...

sometimes i think i am just helpless in many ways
i couldn't really do much stuff to help other people.
my studies suck, i am not good in the stuff i enjoy doing, i just don't have a thing i am good at, and people just keep on verbal attacking me. //lol//

....don't worry! my heart is not made of glass!!!!!

i won't give up easily!!!

doesn't feel like i have improved at all..since 2009
started cosplay since then...well okay, from end of 2009-end of 2010, there is definitely improvements, because i actually don't know how to put make up, but i improved!! hahaha
didn't really have money back then too...and well, now as well
so i only bought the basics for make up, powder foundation, mascara, pencil eyeline

and since then, i've been practising make up with yuukiko!
yeah, i basically went over to her house every sunday/saturday to do make up
well i can say i really SUCK big time.

even till now, i can't say my make up skills is really good.
my eyelining sucks and most of the time i rely on eyelashes to cover up my flaws in my eyelining LOL
and i still can't grasp the art of eyeshadow!!!! //shot//
then, i realize that even though the eyes play a important role in bringing out a character, i neglected one of the most important aspect, the contouring!!!!

then, i have been doing research on how cosplayers contour their nose, oh and i tried.
BUT I FAILED!!!
omg it looks so easy but the hardest part is when you're doing it on yourself
argh, i think it's just my nose that is hard to contour!

anyway..i don't think i have improved at all. .. [ okay maybe my sewing lol ]
i realize i have been lagging behind many of my friends
they improved greatly while i am still the same old me T_T
they all had became beautiful!!! <<< well under the effects of make up
but i look the same with make up!! WHY!!!!
i tried manly make up HAAHAHHAH but anyway I FAILED HAHAHAHHAH
i can't be manly!! T_T

.....i want to wake up one day finding myself SO BISHIE that i died because i am SO HANDSOME HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

maybe my next life.

now now, study is more important!

went to arab street yesterday with nisa after school to buy cloth! /O/
then met up with izumi! < she's funny8{D
originally wanted to buy Tenchou's cloth but then..i couldn't resist...so i bought cloth for another character 8'DDD

8'DDD planning to debut on march holidays if i can finish sewing in time [ and finding all the damn small accessories, also multiple belts ] D8 D8 D8

people said i change for the better, because my attitude was really sucky last time.

i feel so empty nowadays
..anyway i had fun with Aya and Reika today!! thanks both of you! >w<

so yep.. it was very sad to hear from people that they don't really like you in the past
but now that i have changed, which i don't really think i had, they are kinda more okay with me now.
but since that was like 2 years ago, i probably should forget about it
but thinking back 2 years ago, i probably didn't know tthat they didn't really like me, and i just talk to them as if nothing hahaha, so yep, i guess it's really quite awkward

but oh well, i should forget about it and move on with my life 8'D

but anyway, i couldn't really keep promises nowadays
i am busy with alot of stuff. i can't even keep promises to myself...
shoots with people that i promised, but i couldn't really make time out for it.
i am actually feeling quite apologetic to my friends that i disappoint.

..

and my english really do suck a lot i think ..//lol//

thinking of it, i've been meeting aya like almost everyday to study
i am really grateful to you and jiayan for making time out to teach me math and to study with me!
actually, i really can't study on my own, or even at home.
and really, sometimes i wonder if i am a hindrance, but i didn't dare ask. LOL
so i hope not... hope you'll not think that way because i will probably feel very..
very..........
..........

just very sad i think . < my lack of knowledge in vocabulary. i can't think of the right word to describe my feelings, oh god. LOL

oh anyway, thanks reika and aya for such an awesome day! >w<
i had fun!!!!
thank you guys!! >w<

...

sometimes i think i am just helpless in many ways
i couldn't really do much stuff to help other people.
my studies suck, i am not good in the stuff i enjoy doing, i just don't have a thing i am good at, and people just keep on verbal attacking me. //lol//

....don't worry! my heart is not made of glass!!!!!

i won't give up easily!!!

doesn't feel like i have improved at all..since 2009
started cosplay since then...well okay, from end of 2009-end of 2010, there is definitely improvements, because i actually don't know how to put make up, but i improved!! hahaha
didn't really have money back then too...and well, now as well
so i only bought the basics for make up, powder foundation, mascara, pencil eyeline

and since then, i've been practising make up with yuukiko!
yeah, i basically went over to her house every sunday/saturday to do make up
well i can say i really SUCK big time.

even till now, i can't say my make up skills is really good.
my eyelining sucks and most of the time i rely on eyelashes to cover up my flaws in my eyelining LOL
and i still can't grasp the art of eyeshadow!!!! //shot//
then, i realize that even though the eyes play a important role in bringing out a character, i neglected one of the most important aspect, the contouring!!!!

then, i have been doing research on how cosplayers contour their nose, oh and i tried.
BUT I FAILED!!!
omg it looks so easy but the hardest part is when you're doing it on yourself
argh, i think it's just my nose that is hard to contour!

anyway..i don't think i have improved at all. .. [ okay maybe my sewing lol ]
i realize i have been lagging behind many of my friends
they improved greatly while i am still the same old me T_T
they all had became beautiful!!! <<< well under the effects of make up
but i look the same with make up!! WHY!!!!
i tried manly make up HAAHAHHAH but anyway I FAILED HAHAHAHHAH
i can't be manly!! T_T

.....i want to wake up one day finding myself SO BISHIE that i died because i am SO HANDSOME HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

maybe my next life.

now now, study is more important!

went to arab street yesterday with nisa after school to buy cloth! /O/
then met up with izumi! < she's funny8{D
originally wanted to buy Tenchou's cloth but then..i couldn't resist...so i bought cloth for another character 8'DDD

8'DDD planning to debut on march holidays if i can finish sewing in time [ and finding all the damn small accessories, also multiple belts ] D8 D8 D8