HAPPY NEW YEAR

ANOTHER SHITTY YEAR AHEAD [ WITH SCHOOL, OH GOD ]

k bye.

I MISS 2011. :)

the marina bay sand ship is probably built for the 2012 purpose.

GENERAL 

Hi..
it's december 29 soon, which means, 2011 is going to be over.
well, well..well..i love kiki.

well i'm supposed to be straight!
i'm only gay for her, yep, that's right.

Guilty Crown shoot a few days ago.
i only start to actually  continue with the costume that is only 50% done a few hours before the shoot 8D
completed it 1 hour before reaching time.

....
oh hi...

so...
it's christmas already....

eve i mean....

Cui fen is going Japan 8DDDDDDDD
SO SHE'S GOING COMIKET YAY!
so i told her to bring my present to kiki as well * HAHAHAHHHAHA *

dedicated my heart and soul writing this.

today had ELR Shoot /O/
yuukiko appear abit sian lol OTL she's not feeling well
get well soon dear! /o/



I KNOW YOU WON'T READ THIS BUT...

i'm very sorry YL, i didn't mean what i did Orz
sorry i seriously am very sorry but i can't keep on tweeting sorry to you right.
so i shall.. write all my apologies here orz
i think i just made a bad impression
but honestly i am really really scared to ask you orz
for a last minute shoot, that is. QwQ

..........i'm sorry and i didn't mean it. OTL ...
please forgive me ok??????
i don't ever think you will read this but um Q___Q
it just make me feel better writing this.
please don't ignore me ok???? PLEASE DON'T OTL

...._______CHANGE OF STORY_______

ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SHIT HAPPENED TO ME RECENTLY BUT.
i love all MY FRIEND'S COSPLAY KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PINNY'S OTOYA IS REALLY KYAAAAAAAAAAAA
OMG LOVE IT LIKE SO MUCH KYA KYA KYAAAAAA

OLIVIA'S NEZUMI IS LIKE QUQUQUQUQUQUQUUQQUQUUQUQUQ OMG SO SHUAI
PLEASE MARRY MEEEE

YUAN LE'S SYO IS QUQ SEME BUT ....
OMG STILL SO SHUAI AND BISHIE PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

AND TODAY..

I SAW

THE BIGGEST MOE FLUFFED EVER

CELINE'S TSURARA IS LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO CUTE
SO
C
U
T
E
SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE

SERIOUSLY, I WILL BE HONEST
ALL THESE ARE MAINLY THE REASONS WHY I AM ALWAYS SO NEGATIVE
LOL
THE REASONS WHY I FEEL SO SAD FOR MYSELF LOL
MY FACE
CHUB UNTIL LIKE SHIT.
I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY A SINGLE BIT OF MY FACE LOL
SERIOUSLY IT SUCKS
WHY DOES PEOPLE HAVE SUCH GOOD FEATURES OMFG I AM FUCKING JEALOUS
I DONT CARE ABOUT THE FACESHAPE NOW

THE FEATURES
I HAVE A TALL NOSE BRIDGE
I WANT A SMALLER LIPS
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i just loose all confidence i have, for now.
quickly regaining it back. if ever..

this must be the first time in my life, that i actually felt so negative that i was about to cry. LOL
but no, i'm currently in the living room with my family so i can't.
unless i'm in the toilet.

1. really, why am i not just as beautiful?
i have alot of really good looking friends, but i am no where comparable to them.
and maybe in the community i am in now, people will only talk to good looking people. Orz
perhaps i am still very immature, i don't know why i'm troubling over all these stuff.
even though i am supposed to be worried about my costume for my tuesday shoot LOL

sometimes, i just get really upset looking at my own photos.
maybe if i'm taking photo with another person, i will just look at her and wonder, " if only i am as good looking, it'll be wonderful "

i adore alot of people [ yes, cosplayers ] and all these time i have been longing to talk to them.
but i am so socially awkward, shy, or whatever shit i just call myself a bloody coward LOL
i just can't even say HI to them. LOL
i need to drag my friends across the sea of people, reach out to them, and then i "borrowed" some courage from them. and yay! i got to talk to them. for a short... short.... short... moment.
then i became shy, then i ran off. LOL
[ even though i am convinced that i am the out-going, loud girl, but well, maybe i'm just a shy otaku girl, haha! ]

and recently, i am able to talk to kiki.
and i am really so happy.
so happy i am going to tear up. LOL [ opps hope she won't read this haha ]

yes, i admired her so much, i wish she was a guy and i could marry him. [again, i'm not creepy]

and then, i have this one mole beside my nose.
which was soooooooooo irritating and fugly.
no matter how much i conceal, it fucking appear in every picture.
goodness.

why do i have this fucking mole, dark eye circles [ from the fucking genes ] , two balls of fats on my cheeks [ also from the fucking genes ]
LOL WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BETTER FACE STRUCTURE LOL
CAN I DON'T LOOK SO CHINA PREASE.
everytime i smile, these fucking -_- <<< APPEAR
yeah, my eyes is open.
I WONDER HOW MUCH MORE DO I HAVE TO PRACTICE MAKE UP BEFORE I ACTUALLY LOOK NICE. LIKE, NICE. LAWL

because ... i am just not good looking, socially awkward.
people don't want to talk to me lol.
i wish sharanya was here now so i can rant....OTL
dear dear sharanya, i know you won't read this but..
even though i really enjoy those racist jokes i made for you but i really love you OTL

if only i'm more good looking, it would be so much easier to approach people i like.
if only. i feel as if my life is a waste

i am not good in anything
i am not good in studies
i can't help anybody...
i can't even fully enjoy cosplaying [ because all the stress i give myself on my looks, or i just really can't cos the characters i really love alot ]
what's the point of living when i can't enjoy fully what i LOVE to do and i can't feel a sense of achievement in anything i do?
i can't even help anybody. i can't even study well.
sorry i have low IQ, i'm so sorry to self. i have been wasting earth natural's resource ever since i was born.
maybe i will find talents in myself, but maybe talented in doing nothing. LOL
AGAIN, IF ONLY I CAN BORN WITH A BETTER GENES LOL, or a better brain...



maybe the future me will read this and go



i have no idea why i am feeling so negative after EOY

when i see my friends that also only just got to know the person i adore,
and quickly befriends them..but i am still not even near the acquaintance level.
because i am just not good looking enough..to talk to them. T_T
sorry i don't usually feel this way. so fucking depressed LOL

sorry, i'm really not a attention seeker
and i need a place to rant, that's all. ..lol

i hope i can be better next year

which reminds me, school is starting soon.
so many depressed stuff to think about again.
one of the reasons why i am going bald so fast.

i seriously need to adjust my thoughts.

just 2 more years, i'll get out of that shitty school.
andmaybe meet new people again
honestly speaking i'm not so well off in my school too.

basically i just have no one to talk about my problems to but Sharanya.
the rest are just friends. well, friends... not very close friends. . ... after i change class.
and even sharanya is in a different class. WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

YEAH AND SORRY FOR MY DAMN ENGLISH
LIKE I SAID I'M GOOD IN NOTHING. LOL

went to Yumi's shoot yesterday to help! /O/
sorry, in the end, i wasn't of any help TAT

went at around 11+ and we end the shoot at 5+ LOL!

she did two version! Default Stocking and Blue Sailor-fuku Stocking! /O/

shoot with Yentl. sorry i didn't get any pictures with her 8(


OUR EYEBAGS ARE SO OBVIOUS AH

anyway, im so pissed off today.
lol.
im pissed with my sewing.
yeah, i sew my Eager Love Revenge Miku tie today but it was a fail, so i think i had to re-cut the cloth and sew again. zzz
and then, adding on to this, i talk to 2 people
and they took a fucking long time to reply man.
i was so fucking pissed. even though they are clearly online. OMG.

ordering wigs for Cosfest'February soon! /O/
still haven't decide what to cos for day 2.
and SOY'D is no more T__T i'm sad TTM, but it can't be helped 8(

i am fucking determined to buy a camera.
i only like working with close close friends. lol
meaning, friends shoot for friends.
i don't really like getting male photogs. i don't really know most of them cause i'm always on the female side and i feel awkward. LOL

and again, i wanna go Comiket!!!!!! C81!!!
december 29,30 and 31!!!
YES IWANNA GO. SO MANY COSPLAYERS ROM I WANT.
im so happy Kiki is able to ship overseas.
like, fucking happy plz!!!!!!
i want Mirin's too TAT but i'm too afraid to ask her. OTL
i shall try again tomorrow TAT

and mum is going off to Msia again. meaning i have to fend for myself.

and then, i got excellent for Luka Luka Night Fever Extreme at second try!! YAY!!
ROLLING GIRL EXTREME FOREVER STANDARD. GOT A GREAT ONCE BUT NOT SATISFIED WITH IT SO I REPLAY [ THUS RESULT NOT RECORDED IN THE GAME ]
sorry, i die die also want Excellent for all my favorite songs.
i unlocked Iroha Uta today, i fell in love with it.
excellent for normal and hard. couldn't get even a GREAT for extreme. just too hard plz.
and Ura Omote Lovers is like the hardest song i played
omfg, like fucking hard plz. =_=

OTL K. BYEBYE.

yay!! i can finally play Project Diva Extend.

thanks to Khai's help to modify my PSP.
maybe i can even play Bunmei Haruka Aoiza! Yay!

finally playing Extend now!!

went out with namiko today!
umm, just for the sake of Purikura.
zzzz i'm damn broke now ok. lol
totally $0 right now!!

yeah, i put my i fairy dolly brown lense!!! /O/
and make up. but lazy put on eyelashes. the fff

and ok, we're supposed to meet at 1:20pm, but both of us are late so we only meet at 2:30pm lol

first stop : purikura!! lol!!

FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I WAS WRITING THIS POST, AND I ACCIDENTALLY PRESH REFRESH, AND ALL IS GONE. OMFGQQQBBBQFKEJSFKJDKEFIKJDSIJVIDKSIL -CURSE- FUCK FUCK FUCK.

ok, this post is intended to be REMINISCING ABOUT THE WONDERFUL 2011 I HAD WITH FRIENDS..
well, you know... all the friends we made during 2011, and all the fun we had, i really miss it...OTL
it's kinda sad that 2011 is gonna be over soon.

-WARNING, PICTURES!! - LOL OK. AND WORDS WORDS.

January -

1 - i went as helper for Yanjia and swiftfeather's shoot hahha! [ at the start of the year... ] and i still remember that we had pasta mania after the shoot. WAIT...SPEAKING OF WHICH, I STILL OWE HER MONEY. NEXT TIME,, NEXT TIME WHEN I SEE HER, IM GONNA RETURN BACK THE MONEY TAT

2 - i went out with yuukiko to AMK [ i think for our kururi and mairu shoot or something. haha ]
and i bought Heroine make up eyeliner!! /O/ i still remember it cost me 18.90 LOL

11 - Tanya drew Izaya on the whiteboard in the Media production room! and Jared went and rub it away! :(

15 - went out with Namiko and Nyazuko! synchronize outing -coughcough- oh and we had Neoprint!
i was abandon =.= #foreveralone Namiko is always with Nyazuko. I AM ALONE. ARGH.





16 - Neoprint with Yuukiko!! we had Koi too!



23 - LOL OK PROJECT WORK AT TANYA'S HOUSE WITH HAOJIE, RIAN AND DIXON.
anyway we ended up prank calling other people too yeah ummmm.. HAHAHAH!!!
and i still remember we prank Perline, Zengjing and Qi rui!! i forgot some other people.. HAHAH
anyway Zengjing's reaction is the funniest lol!!

25 - teamwork! hahaaahahahah, we are supposed to build the tallest stick with only news paper and scotch tape. hohoho. AND WE WON!! CAUSE OURS IS TALL, AND IT STAND FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME!!! and after that, camwhore at Sharanya's house with her large sized - glasses. lol =X

see, so long right!!!! hohoho!!

yeah.... anyway, for the below pictures, i look so cute i had to put it here. ((shotself




see!
this was taken during the last day of december - 31 december 2010 lol!!
best purikura yet, because i look the nicest here -coughcough-









ahahahahaha, going to have another Purikura with namiko soon!
die die also must have -doll up myself-
PFFT!!

ok, next post i will post about my life of February 2011!! =XXX

it's fucking embarrassing.

ok, so to start with the day.

i dreamt of kiki. BEST DREAM EVAR. HOHOHO
WHY I DREAM OF HER WHEN I HAVING MY PERIOD. WTF IS THIS.

1. i was talking to her
2. i hug her
3. i went to her house and dig her stuff
4. her room is pink
5. she tied one pony tail [ OMFG CUTE PLZ BRB BLEEDING IN PROGRESS, BOTH IN BETWEEN MY THIGH AND MY NOSE ]
6. she told me she can understand english but she don't know how to speak [ WHY IS THIS EVEN IN MY DREAM ]

i woke up, i ddnvjdsnvjkdsnvjedsnjfnesdkfckesd everything to Nisa.
and Nisa told me Pink suit kiki well! [hoho i think so too]

ummm Nisa is always the only one i can talk about Kiki to!!
and she won't think i'm a freak. cause we're both ....kind of creepy i think..
or is it only me...ummmm
anyway we have weird fetish!! [ or does it only apply on myself.. ]

THEN, I WOKE UP, I SWITCH ON MY COMP.
AND.
I WENT ON TO TWITTER.
AND.
AND

TONG TONG TONG DINGGGGGGGGGGGG

I SAW ONE FOLLOWER REQUEST ON MY ALTERNATE TWITTER ACCOUNT.
at first i'm like
" ok, this must be another irritating fellow "

then, IT WAS KIKI WHO REQUEST TO FOLLOW ME.

I'M LIKE ................................................................................................

step one : scream the hell out of my lungs
step two : ignore the neighbours
step three : sms Nisa
step four : run to the toilet and brush my teeth, and wash my face
step five : get back to the sit in less than 5 seconds
step six : pinch myself, post on facebook " AM I DREAMING "
step seven : jvsdbfcusjcnjashcas everywhere on twitter
step eight : mentally prepare myself to accept the request
step nine : -press accept one hour later-
step ten : tweet to her

HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

omg man what if Kiki reads this.

and in the end, i was suppose to meet yuukiko at serangoon at 2, then change to 2:45, then change to 3pm
in the end we meet at 3+++ anyway. HAHHAAHHAHA
cause i was fangirling too much, waiting for kiki's reply to my tweet
OMFG THIS WAS MY SECOND TIME TALKING TO HER <3 <3

THE FIRST TIME WAS DURING THE JAPANESE EARTHQUAKE/TSUNAMI/RADIATION PERIOD

me : take care of yourself!!!!!!!!
kiki : eh?!! thank you very much!!!

-end of convo-

ever since that day, i've been going " I WANNA TALK TO KIKI AGAIN x 100000000000000 everyday "
and even dreamt of her following me back on twitter
AND NOW, SHE DID. OMYMATHAFUCKINGIMSO FUCKING HAPPY FFFUUUUU

//drowninmyhappytears

..............i can't wait for her raishin ROM

-brb run to toilet-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH SO...

i screen printed all her tweets to me -coughcough-
8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

so this is how the conversation goes hmph

.
.
.
-lazy to post-

ANYWAY, SHE IS REALLY DAMN CUTE KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-nodnod-

anyway she didn't really just follow me. OTL
she follow quite a few number of other people [ think she went through her followers list of something ]
and i got jealous because i can't communicate with her well.
but again proud of myself because i think i'm the only oversea people that followed her.

-SIGH- WHY SHE FOLLOW ASHLEY AND NOT KATHERINE.
IS KATHERINE NOT LOVED 8(

i'm so....//fuwafuwa.

my love for her just boost up kdskckde times more. 8'DD
i don't care if other cosplayers is indeed better than her.
i just like her. OR LOVE HER FFFUUUUU

shit i'm turning gay. GAH

PS : i forgot to include that, i went to meet yuukiko for my rin wig.

Vanguard advertisement at Bishan MRT o.o
feel so....new........because first time see a anime-related stuff in the mrt lol!

and pizza from yesterday! thanks for the meal, sis!


oh, did i mention before that my sister is bloody addicted to SIMS SOCIAL lately??!
i have to send her gifts and energy!!! pfft
yeah, she's addicted. and i lend her my Magi comic book 8DDDD
hope she likes it, MAGI IS A GOOD STORY HELLO!!!

oh and, i found this Alibaba cosplayer called Kiko
omfg she's damn cute prz OMFGGGGGGGGG
she's like the cutest being i ever seen. [ that's a joke, kiki is cuter ]
HAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHHA
BUT SHE'S STILL CUTE. OMG HOW CAN SHE PULL OFF SUCH A CUTE EXPRESSION AND STILL SUIT ALIBABA SO WELL .
OMGGGGG [TRIES TO TRANSFORM MY FACE AS WELL ]
and she suit blond alot. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yeah, her cure name is kiko!!
lazy to find her number. pfft. and i'm not doing advertising her HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
SHE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE //FUWAFUWA

.....

tomorrow is saturday. time to continue with my ELR costume.
photoshoot on the 12th of december 8D

and i have to start on Alibaba and Ren Kougyoku's costume as well!!!
Ren is so cute //fuwafuwa

PS : I REALLY LOVE KIKI

went to Pinny's photoshoot today!
well, it was fun sometimes..
and it was quite bored for me most of the times. LOL

but i have nothing to do!!!
except to see them shoot 8(
because the photographer don't need me to help him hold the reflector :(

*stay one side and emo*

and then, i had to walk to the botanic garden mrt to buy cup noodle, bring it back to botanic garden. and repeat it twice. WTFFFFFFF

ADMIREMEPLZ.

yes, there are camwhores.
but i am not at my best today. because i look super cui and fugly.
and they damn dark eye rings is so fucking huge and humongous and dark.
so yeah, no photos.

OKAY WAIT.
I AM DOING ALL SORT OF RESEARCH ON ALIBABA NOW.
BUSY ATM. BYEBYE

HAPPY NEW YEAR

ANOTHER SHITTY YEAR AHEAD [ WITH SCHOOL, OH GOD ]

k bye.

I MISS 2011. :)

the marina bay sand ship is probably built for the 2012 purpose.

GENERAL 

Hi..
it's december 29 soon, which means, 2011 is going to be over.
well, well..well..i love kiki.

well i'm supposed to be straight!
i'm only gay for her, yep, that's right.

Guilty Crown shoot a few days ago.
i only start to actually  continue with the costume that is only 50% done a few hours before the shoot 8D
completed it 1 hour before reaching time.

....
oh hi...

so...
it's christmas already....

eve i mean....

Cui fen is going Japan 8DDDDDDDD
SO SHE'S GOING COMIKET YAY!
so i told her to bring my present to kiki as well * HAHAHAHHHAHA *

dedicated my heart and soul writing this.

today had ELR Shoot /O/
yuukiko appear abit sian lol OTL she's not feeling well
get well soon dear! /o/



I KNOW YOU WON'T READ THIS BUT...

i'm very sorry YL, i didn't mean what i did Orz
sorry i seriously am very sorry but i can't keep on tweeting sorry to you right.
so i shall.. write all my apologies here orz
i think i just made a bad impression
but honestly i am really really scared to ask you orz
for a last minute shoot, that is. QwQ

..........i'm sorry and i didn't mean it. OTL ...
please forgive me ok??????
i don't ever think you will read this but um Q___Q
it just make me feel better writing this.
please don't ignore me ok???? PLEASE DON'T OTL

...._______CHANGE OF STORY_______

ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SHIT HAPPENED TO ME RECENTLY BUT.
i love all MY FRIEND'S COSPLAY KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PINNY'S OTOYA IS REALLY KYAAAAAAAAAAAA
OMG LOVE IT LIKE SO MUCH KYA KYA KYAAAAAA

OLIVIA'S NEZUMI IS LIKE QUQUQUQUQUQUQUUQQUQUUQUQUQ OMG SO SHUAI
PLEASE MARRY MEEEE

YUAN LE'S SYO IS QUQ SEME BUT ....
OMG STILL SO SHUAI AND BISHIE PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

AND TODAY..

I SAW

THE BIGGEST MOE FLUFFED EVER

CELINE'S TSURARA IS LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO CUTE
SO
C
U
T
E
SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE

SERIOUSLY, I WILL BE HONEST
ALL THESE ARE MAINLY THE REASONS WHY I AM ALWAYS SO NEGATIVE
LOL
THE REASONS WHY I FEEL SO SAD FOR MYSELF LOL
MY FACE
CHUB UNTIL LIKE SHIT.
I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY A SINGLE BIT OF MY FACE LOL
SERIOUSLY IT SUCKS
WHY DOES PEOPLE HAVE SUCH GOOD FEATURES OMFG I AM FUCKING JEALOUS
I DONT CARE ABOUT THE FACESHAPE NOW

THE FEATURES
I HAVE A TALL NOSE BRIDGE
I WANT A SMALLER LIPS
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i just loose all confidence i have, for now.
quickly regaining it back. if ever..

this must be the first time in my life, that i actually felt so negative that i was about to cry. LOL
but no, i'm currently in the living room with my family so i can't.
unless i'm in the toilet.

1. really, why am i not just as beautiful?
i have alot of really good looking friends, but i am no where comparable to them.
and maybe in the community i am in now, people will only talk to good looking people. Orz
perhaps i am still very immature, i don't know why i'm troubling over all these stuff.
even though i am supposed to be worried about my costume for my tuesday shoot LOL

sometimes, i just get really upset looking at my own photos.
maybe if i'm taking photo with another person, i will just look at her and wonder, " if only i am as good looking, it'll be wonderful "

i adore alot of people [ yes, cosplayers ] and all these time i have been longing to talk to them.
but i am so socially awkward, shy, or whatever shit i just call myself a bloody coward LOL
i just can't even say HI to them. LOL
i need to drag my friends across the sea of people, reach out to them, and then i "borrowed" some courage from them. and yay! i got to talk to them. for a short... short.... short... moment.
then i became shy, then i ran off. LOL
[ even though i am convinced that i am the out-going, loud girl, but well, maybe i'm just a shy otaku girl, haha! ]

and recently, i am able to talk to kiki.
and i am really so happy.
so happy i am going to tear up. LOL [ opps hope she won't read this haha ]

yes, i admired her so much, i wish she was a guy and i could marry him. [again, i'm not creepy]

and then, i have this one mole beside my nose.
which was soooooooooo irritating and fugly.
no matter how much i conceal, it fucking appear in every picture.
goodness.

why do i have this fucking mole, dark eye circles [ from the fucking genes ] , two balls of fats on my cheeks [ also from the fucking genes ]
LOL WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BETTER FACE STRUCTURE LOL
CAN I DON'T LOOK SO CHINA PREASE.
everytime i smile, these fucking -_- <<< APPEAR
yeah, my eyes is open.
I WONDER HOW MUCH MORE DO I HAVE TO PRACTICE MAKE UP BEFORE I ACTUALLY LOOK NICE. LIKE, NICE. LAWL

because ... i am just not good looking, socially awkward.
people don't want to talk to me lol.
i wish sharanya was here now so i can rant....OTL
dear dear sharanya, i know you won't read this but..
even though i really enjoy those racist jokes i made for you but i really love you OTL

if only i'm more good looking, it would be so much easier to approach people i like.
if only. i feel as if my life is a waste

i am not good in anything
i am not good in studies
i can't help anybody...
i can't even fully enjoy cosplaying [ because all the stress i give myself on my looks, or i just really can't cos the characters i really love alot ]
what's the point of living when i can't enjoy fully what i LOVE to do and i can't feel a sense of achievement in anything i do?
i can't even help anybody. i can't even study well.
sorry i have low IQ, i'm so sorry to self. i have been wasting earth natural's resource ever since i was born.
maybe i will find talents in myself, but maybe talented in doing nothing. LOL
AGAIN, IF ONLY I CAN BORN WITH A BETTER GENES LOL, or a better brain...



maybe the future me will read this and go



i have no idea why i am feeling so negative after EOY

when i see my friends that also only just got to know the person i adore,
and quickly befriends them..but i am still not even near the acquaintance level.
because i am just not good looking enough..to talk to them. T_T
sorry i don't usually feel this way. so fucking depressed LOL

sorry, i'm really not a attention seeker
and i need a place to rant, that's all. ..lol

i hope i can be better next year

which reminds me, school is starting soon.
so many depressed stuff to think about again.
one of the reasons why i am going bald so fast.

i seriously need to adjust my thoughts.

just 2 more years, i'll get out of that shitty school.
andmaybe meet new people again
honestly speaking i'm not so well off in my school too.

basically i just have no one to talk about my problems to but Sharanya.
the rest are just friends. well, friends... not very close friends. . ... after i change class.
and even sharanya is in a different class. WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

YEAH AND SORRY FOR MY DAMN ENGLISH
LIKE I SAID I'M GOOD IN NOTHING. LOL

went to Yumi's shoot yesterday to help! /O/
sorry, in the end, i wasn't of any help TAT

went at around 11+ and we end the shoot at 5+ LOL!

she did two version! Default Stocking and Blue Sailor-fuku Stocking! /O/

shoot with Yentl. sorry i didn't get any pictures with her 8(


OUR EYEBAGS ARE SO OBVIOUS AH

anyway, im so pissed off today.
lol.
im pissed with my sewing.
yeah, i sew my Eager Love Revenge Miku tie today but it was a fail, so i think i had to re-cut the cloth and sew again. zzz
and then, adding on to this, i talk to 2 people
and they took a fucking long time to reply man.
i was so fucking pissed. even though they are clearly online. OMG.

ordering wigs for Cosfest'February soon! /O/
still haven't decide what to cos for day 2.
and SOY'D is no more T__T i'm sad TTM, but it can't be helped 8(

i am fucking determined to buy a camera.
i only like working with close close friends. lol
meaning, friends shoot for friends.
i don't really like getting male photogs. i don't really know most of them cause i'm always on the female side and i feel awkward. LOL

and again, i wanna go Comiket!!!!!! C81!!!
december 29,30 and 31!!!
YES IWANNA GO. SO MANY COSPLAYERS ROM I WANT.
im so happy Kiki is able to ship overseas.
like, fucking happy plz!!!!!!
i want Mirin's too TAT but i'm too afraid to ask her. OTL
i shall try again tomorrow TAT

and mum is going off to Msia again. meaning i have to fend for myself.

and then, i got excellent for Luka Luka Night Fever Extreme at second try!! YAY!!
ROLLING GIRL EXTREME FOREVER STANDARD. GOT A GREAT ONCE BUT NOT SATISFIED WITH IT SO I REPLAY [ THUS RESULT NOT RECORDED IN THE GAME ]
sorry, i die die also want Excellent for all my favorite songs.
i unlocked Iroha Uta today, i fell in love with it.
excellent for normal and hard. couldn't get even a GREAT for extreme. just too hard plz.
and Ura Omote Lovers is like the hardest song i played
omfg, like fucking hard plz. =_=

OTL K. BYEBYE.

yay!! i can finally play Project Diva Extend.

thanks to Khai's help to modify my PSP.
maybe i can even play Bunmei Haruka Aoiza! Yay!

finally playing Extend now!!

went out with namiko today!
umm, just for the sake of Purikura.
zzzz i'm damn broke now ok. lol
totally $0 right now!!

yeah, i put my i fairy dolly brown lense!!! /O/
and make up. but lazy put on eyelashes. the fff

and ok, we're supposed to meet at 1:20pm, but both of us are late so we only meet at 2:30pm lol

first stop : purikura!! lol!!

FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I WAS WRITING THIS POST, AND I ACCIDENTALLY PRESH REFRESH, AND ALL IS GONE. OMFGQQQBBBQFKEJSFKJDKEFIKJDSIJVIDKSIL -CURSE- FUCK FUCK FUCK.

ok, this post is intended to be REMINISCING ABOUT THE WONDERFUL 2011 I HAD WITH FRIENDS..
well, you know... all the friends we made during 2011, and all the fun we had, i really miss it...OTL
it's kinda sad that 2011 is gonna be over soon.

-WARNING, PICTURES!! - LOL OK. AND WORDS WORDS.

January -

1 - i went as helper for Yanjia and swiftfeather's shoot hahha! [ at the start of the year... ] and i still remember that we had pasta mania after the shoot. WAIT...SPEAKING OF WHICH, I STILL OWE HER MONEY. NEXT TIME,, NEXT TIME WHEN I SEE HER, IM GONNA RETURN BACK THE MONEY TAT

2 - i went out with yuukiko to AMK [ i think for our kururi and mairu shoot or something. haha ]
and i bought Heroine make up eyeliner!! /O/ i still remember it cost me 18.90 LOL

11 - Tanya drew Izaya on the whiteboard in the Media production room! and Jared went and rub it away! :(

15 - went out with Namiko and Nyazuko! synchronize outing -coughcough- oh and we had Neoprint!
i was abandon =.= #foreveralone Namiko is always with Nyazuko. I AM ALONE. ARGH.





16 - Neoprint with Yuukiko!! we had Koi too!



23 - LOL OK PROJECT WORK AT TANYA'S HOUSE WITH HAOJIE, RIAN AND DIXON.
anyway we ended up prank calling other people too yeah ummmm.. HAHAHAH!!!
and i still remember we prank Perline, Zengjing and Qi rui!! i forgot some other people.. HAHAH
anyway Zengjing's reaction is the funniest lol!!

25 - teamwork! hahaaahahahah, we are supposed to build the tallest stick with only news paper and scotch tape. hohoho. AND WE WON!! CAUSE OURS IS TALL, AND IT STAND FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME!!! and after that, camwhore at Sharanya's house with her large sized - glasses. lol =X

see, so long right!!!! hohoho!!

yeah.... anyway, for the below pictures, i look so cute i had to put it here. ((shotself




see!
this was taken during the last day of december - 31 december 2010 lol!!
best purikura yet, because i look the nicest here -coughcough-









ahahahahaha, going to have another Purikura with namiko soon!
die die also must have -doll up myself-
PFFT!!

ok, next post i will post about my life of February 2011!! =XXX

it's fucking embarrassing.

ok, so to start with the day.

i dreamt of kiki. BEST DREAM EVAR. HOHOHO
WHY I DREAM OF HER WHEN I HAVING MY PERIOD. WTF IS THIS.

1. i was talking to her
2. i hug her
3. i went to her house and dig her stuff
4. her room is pink
5. she tied one pony tail [ OMFG CUTE PLZ BRB BLEEDING IN PROGRESS, BOTH IN BETWEEN MY THIGH AND MY NOSE ]
6. she told me she can understand english but she don't know how to speak [ WHY IS THIS EVEN IN MY DREAM ]

i woke up, i ddnvjdsnvjkdsnvjedsnjfnesdkfckesd everything to Nisa.
and Nisa told me Pink suit kiki well! [hoho i think so too]

ummm Nisa is always the only one i can talk about Kiki to!!
and she won't think i'm a freak. cause we're both ....kind of creepy i think..
or is it only me...ummmm
anyway we have weird fetish!! [ or does it only apply on myself.. ]

THEN, I WOKE UP, I SWITCH ON MY COMP.
AND.
I WENT ON TO TWITTER.
AND.
AND

TONG TONG TONG DINGGGGGGGGGGGG

I SAW ONE FOLLOWER REQUEST ON MY ALTERNATE TWITTER ACCOUNT.
at first i'm like
" ok, this must be another irritating fellow "

then, IT WAS KIKI WHO REQUEST TO FOLLOW ME.

I'M LIKE ................................................................................................

step one : scream the hell out of my lungs
step two : ignore the neighbours
step three : sms Nisa
step four : run to the toilet and brush my teeth, and wash my face
step five : get back to the sit in less than 5 seconds
step six : pinch myself, post on facebook " AM I DREAMING "
step seven : jvsdbfcusjcnjashcas everywhere on twitter
step eight : mentally prepare myself to accept the request
step nine : -press accept one hour later-
step ten : tweet to her

HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

omg man what if Kiki reads this.

and in the end, i was suppose to meet yuukiko at serangoon at 2, then change to 2:45, then change to 3pm
in the end we meet at 3+++ anyway. HAHHAAHHAHA
cause i was fangirling too much, waiting for kiki's reply to my tweet
OMFG THIS WAS MY SECOND TIME TALKING TO HER <3 <3

THE FIRST TIME WAS DURING THE JAPANESE EARTHQUAKE/TSUNAMI/RADIATION PERIOD

me : take care of yourself!!!!!!!!
kiki : eh?!! thank you very much!!!

-end of convo-

ever since that day, i've been going " I WANNA TALK TO KIKI AGAIN x 100000000000000 everyday "
and even dreamt of her following me back on twitter
AND NOW, SHE DID. OMYMATHAFUCKINGIMSO FUCKING HAPPY FFFUUUUU

//drowninmyhappytears

..............i can't wait for her raishin ROM

-brb run to toilet-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH SO...

i screen printed all her tweets to me -coughcough-
8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

so this is how the conversation goes hmph

.
.
.
-lazy to post-

ANYWAY, SHE IS REALLY DAMN CUTE KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-nodnod-

anyway she didn't really just follow me. OTL
she follow quite a few number of other people [ think she went through her followers list of something ]
and i got jealous because i can't communicate with her well.
but again proud of myself because i think i'm the only oversea people that followed her.

-SIGH- WHY SHE FOLLOW ASHLEY AND NOT KATHERINE.
IS KATHERINE NOT LOVED 8(

i'm so....//fuwafuwa.

my love for her just boost up kdskckde times more. 8'DD
i don't care if other cosplayers is indeed better than her.
i just like her. OR LOVE HER FFFUUUUU

shit i'm turning gay. GAH

PS : i forgot to include that, i went to meet yuukiko for my rin wig.

Vanguard advertisement at Bishan MRT o.o
feel so....new........because first time see a anime-related stuff in the mrt lol!

and pizza from yesterday! thanks for the meal, sis!


oh, did i mention before that my sister is bloody addicted to SIMS SOCIAL lately??!
i have to send her gifts and energy!!! pfft
yeah, she's addicted. and i lend her my Magi comic book 8DDDD
hope she likes it, MAGI IS A GOOD STORY HELLO!!!

oh and, i found this Alibaba cosplayer called Kiko
omfg she's damn cute prz OMFGGGGGGGGG
she's like the cutest being i ever seen. [ that's a joke, kiki is cuter ]
HAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHHA
BUT SHE'S STILL CUTE. OMG HOW CAN SHE PULL OFF SUCH A CUTE EXPRESSION AND STILL SUIT ALIBABA SO WELL .
OMGGGGG [TRIES TO TRANSFORM MY FACE AS WELL ]
and she suit blond alot. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yeah, her cure name is kiko!!
lazy to find her number. pfft. and i'm not doing advertising her HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
SHE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE //FUWAFUWA

.....

tomorrow is saturday. time to continue with my ELR costume.
photoshoot on the 12th of december 8D

and i have to start on Alibaba and Ren Kougyoku's costume as well!!!
Ren is so cute //fuwafuwa

PS : I REALLY LOVE KIKI

went to Pinny's photoshoot today!
well, it was fun sometimes..
and it was quite bored for me most of the times. LOL

but i have nothing to do!!!
except to see them shoot 8(
because the photographer don't need me to help him hold the reflector :(

*stay one side and emo*

and then, i had to walk to the botanic garden mrt to buy cup noodle, bring it back to botanic garden. and repeat it twice. WTFFFFFFF

ADMIREMEPLZ.

yes, there are camwhores.
but i am not at my best today. because i look super cui and fugly.
and they damn dark eye rings is so fucking huge and humongous and dark.
so yeah, no photos.

OKAY WAIT.
I AM DOING ALL SORT OF RESEARCH ON ALIBABA NOW.
BUSY ATM. BYEBYE